Heyyyy How’s it going? Happy Monday to ya. I may forget the days of the week in the middle of the week, but I still know when it’s a Monday. Well, it’s been a month since I last posted. That post was all happy and upbeat and how YOU and I can make the most of our time in this isolation. This quarantine life. Back then, I really thought it would be a short little two weeks, and we’d all be back up and running. I didn’t think I’d have friends get laid off, friends be right on the front line of this, friends dealing with anxiety and depression, etc. And for myself, I didn’t think I’d be battling with uncertainty and what is life going to look like in the future because of this? We all keep saying, “oh ya know..when life gets back to normal…” But the truth is..will we ever be where we were?
IDK. I’m no scientist. I have to limit my daily news time (we are at about 5 min/day, unless you count the Today Show. I look forward to the Today Show each morning. Who am I??! Old and mature. That is what).
Anyway, I pay $$ for this website to be up and running every month. And part of that includes having a blog. SO..I might as well use it.
If you’re like me, you’ve been putting your *BEST* positive self out there, and I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I’m not faking it. I do have a lot to be grateful for. You want me to list everything out? I won’t do that to you. BUT, I will take a moment to say that I am loving what this time is showing me about myself (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I love that despite my imperfections, it is making me a better wife, and a better future mom. I am thinking that it is making me a better coach. It is helping me to really empathize with people and love people for where they are at. It is helping me to get rid of negativity and BS.
I am loving these new traditions. I am loving being outside, enjoying the sunshine, and not being scared to indulge in the good stuff in life – like ice cream and gin and a good bit of pizza in one sitting. I have loved just enjoying Daniel’s company, and I have loved working out with him. Both of these things I can take for granted. I am learning a lot about myself.
I am also a little sad, and I think that’s ok too.
I want to hold my family really tight, and we’re not a hold tight kind of family. Remember, I’m not a hugger. I want to be able to fist bump and high five people in the gym after they just worked their ass off in a workout. I want to help people move and stay active and feel good about themselves, and not through a computer screen. I actually really want to hug people. I want to see the people I am used to seeing every day…(haha, even the people who make me feel like maybe I am an introvert). I want to be able to compete in these competitions that I feel like I earned and that people supported me to be a part of(something I don’t take for granted). We have so much to look forward to, and I know that I am not a young little duckling or chicken or whatever they say, and I may not have much time left to do these things. Wodapalooza was a BLAST, but I would be sad if that was my last one and I didn’t even know it.
Whether we would like to admit it or not, the past month has been tough. We are told to act like we are strong, that we are holding it together, that everything is fine…even when maybe….it’s just not. We hold these feelings in because we don’t want to come across as negative, or looking hopeless, OR heaven forbid, ungrateful. POSITIVITY ALWAYS WINS 🙂 🙂 🙂
I know I don’t know much. I am just some random girl who lives in South Carolina. I am no official life coach or mental health worker (good news for everyone else 🙂 We don’t have kids, so the only thing I know about navigating through E Learning and home school life is through my friends. We are fortunate that we still have a lot of normal routine in our lives.
At the end of the day, life is good. I keep what we do have at the front of my mind, along with scripture, and hymns, and other positive songs – and I am grateful.
BUT IT’S OK TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS STILL REALLY TOUGH. Routines are off. And even for those of us who are used to being around people A LOT and actually enjoy being alone sometimes..it’s ok to miss face to face connection.
For the past several weeks, I’ve been trying to hold in how I feel because I really just want to be positive. And more importantly, I know there are many many people out there who have it really tough right now.
But I’ve been reminded that it’s ok to
But how do we move forward? We talk about it. We connect with others. We adapt. And we make a promise to ourselves to not be the same person we were at the beginning of 2020.
I’ll keep shining my light of positivity – knowing confidently that it is authentic and backed by hope and grace. I hope that others can feed off of it…because we all need some positivity. And I will continue to be transparent about how I am feeling to those who ask. I hope you can do the same. Don’t hold it in. Don’t think that just because covid-19 hasn’t rocked your world in the same way it has rocked someone else’s that you can’t be sad and have weird feelings about it. BUT, choose to not let your thoughts stay there.
For me, I battle weird feelings with scripture, songs, exercise, or just moving in general, healthy eating mixed with knowing that it’s ok to splurge a little right now. I enjoy doing my part to inspire people. It may be in a smaller way than others, but I do what I can. I enjoy the time I do have – fin person with Daniel, phone calls, zoom, etc. I listen to positivity. I try not to listen to the media or news. For what it’s worth (and I know I am late to the show on this) but CNN and Fox News sometimes report the exact opposite things. Who do you even believe? Might as well not watch it. Just watch the Today Show. Someone is going to get frustrated at me for saying that, but as someone who doesn’t fall one way or the other, I am like what are these people even talking about?
Thank you for reading!
Here are a few other updates on us (in case you are my mom or a few others who may still be reading)…
People have been asking us about adoption updates, which makes me really happy 🙂 Right now, we are still on a waiting list to become an “active family.” Once we become an “active family,” moms who are contemplating adoption can see our profile and choose us to be the parents of her child. We had a BIG jump last month of the wait list, which actually really surprised us given so much is shut down. What do I know though? We are getting closer! That is exciting, and makes me super nervous, all at the same time. Kindred + Co is helping us make our profile book. Heather is really talented, and I love her blog. We have a very important call tomorrow with a woman named Ashley. She is a birth mom who works with K+C. I’ve been slacking a little on the profile book. I am not quite sure why, but we are hoping to actually SIT DOWN and get that done this week and weekend. Anyway, we still have a lot to learn, so I am really excited about this phone call tomorrow.
Oh, before I go.. thank you for all the interest in the assault bike. I will keep y’all posted!
Thanks for reading this far. I hope you all have a wonderful and productive week!