Heyyyyy HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s been so long. Remember when I used to write on here all the time? I’ll be back to my blogging self one of these days. No excuses.

What all did you get for Christmas? My mom got me a weighted blanket. She got me this one right here: It’s called the Calm Blanket: The Weighted Blanket to reduce insomnia and anxiety. Perfect. I saw it online when it was 50% off, and I told her to get me the biggest one they had…not really for anxiety, but mostly just to help me sleep and feel so contained in my big 20 lb blanket. It has been amazing. I’ve been sleeping like a champ. Highly recommend. Most importantly though, we had a great time seeing our family for a few days last week. I think my mom is one of the few people who actually reads these posts, so I knew that was important to say.

How’s your new year going so far? How are the goals coming along? And how are all those resolutions going? And are you living by those ” my word of 2020 is…?”

I’m all about goals and changes. I’ve written about it on here sooo many times – especially circa 2016-1017. I think goals are great, as long as you have action steps to make it happen. For example… I have a goal to be done with my Precision Nutrition cert by June of this year. But if I don’t schedule out time to make it happen, then that goal definitely won’t be happening by June. BUT, if I can be like “alright, so I am going to carve out time between 6:30-7:30 pm on Mondays and 2-3 pm on Thursdays to work on my Precision stuff, then I just might be able to make it happen.

So, as always, I’ve got goals for 2020. But this year, the goals I have are the same as they’ve always been – to just keep getting back up and being a better version of myself. Nothing fancy. And the best way to do this for me is to not allow my mind to get the best of me.

Have you ever heard of this thing called “Imposter Syndrome?” It sounds pretty dark and scary, but it’s not. Don’t worry. Truth is, more people reading this than not have had a feeling or two dealing with this.

In a nutshell – for someone experiencing these kind of feelings, they begin to think that everything they have ever accomplished has only happened because of luck – like they didn’t deserve any of it, or do anything to earn it. If those feelings sit for a little while, then before they know it, they start believing that they are a fraud and that others are going to find out that they really don’t belong.

Basically, they second guess themselves and second guess some, or even all of the cool things that they’ve been able to be a part of, or accomplished.

Over the past year…actually years… I’ve allowed my mind to get the best of me. It’ll happen after someone says something really nice to me or about me. It’ll happen after Daniel, or someone else really close in my life, says he/she is proud of me. It happens after someone else accomplishes something great that maybe I had the opportunity to help them with (weird I know). And it especially happens before a big competition.

Basically, I just second guess myself.

I think it’s probably normal to experience these feelings every now and then – like maybe you are second guessing that promotion you got at work. You’re like “ok, well if my boss really knew me, they wouldn’t be entrusting me with this.” Or you are tough on yourself as a mom and you think that one day your kid is going to think that maybe you’re not as cool as they think you are now. Or maybe you have a big event, meeting, or competition coming up and you’re like “OH &h*t what if I mess everything up? And what is I bomb? And then everyone is going to be like…”umm how did this girl even get here?!”

For some, it may sound dumb… but for others, it is a thing. And if we’re not careful, it can get the best of us.

Heading into 2020, I am realizing that just because these feelings are there, it doesn’t mean I have to listen to them. And just because I feel a certain way, DEFINITELY doesn’t make it true.

So, how do we fix these thoughts and turn them to positive?

I think we just have to make a promise to ourselves to keep learning and keep growing. And then we’ll keep getting back up. Mess ups happen. Sometimes things don’t carry out or go as we hoped. And sometimes, even when we work really really hard for something, we may come up a little short of where we hoped we would.

We can’t let what/how we think others see us or think of us get the best of us (does that sentence even make sense?) And at the end of the day, those people probably aren’t even thinking about us…at all 🙂

And if you have people in your life as good as I do, you know that they are all that matters anyway.

Anyway, it all sounds so silly now. But I figured it was worth saying that this year… **2020** I really want to do a better job of controlling my thoughts, and not allowing any sort of negative feeling(s) I have stop me from doing what I love, what I’m good at, and what I can do to make the world a better place.

And hopefully you feel the same about yourself. If you want to keep this convo going, I am down!

Happy 2020!

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”Philippians 4:8 (the message translation)

**photo above by Scott Thomason