What up party people?!? Hopefully you are feeling so fresh and so clean on this Monday. I say this because I’m still wearing the same gym clothes I was wearing at 4:30 am this morning, and since then I’ve coached several classes, worked out “ish” twice, and played a couple games of Spikeball. And it’s now 2 pm. Tis the season to bring multiple shirts to the gym, but today I forgot. So, I just wanted to remind all of you to change shirts throughout the day – or complete outfits for that matter- so you don’t have to smell.
But on a positive note…I just drank the last drop of high quality H2O out of my classy gallon jug. Turns out there are 128 ounces in a gallon. You should drink at least half your body weight in oz of water a day (so, if you weigh 200 lb, drink 100 oz water minimum a day). Well I’m taking it up a notch by drinking 1 and a half gallons – so 192 oz of water. Apparently too much water can get you in trouble (I think that was my real problem at Wodapalooza when my body said WUT and shut down), but with the way I’ve (and prob you too) been sweating, it feels right to try and set a lofty goal on the water consumption. I’ll keep you updated.
That had nothing to do with confidence. But you made it to week 4 – the last part of this little series of posts about confidence and the way we see ourselves. Today is all about comparing ourselves to others.
You can see Part 1 about just trying to be the best version of yourself, and leaving it at that here.
Part 2 was all about focusing on what our bodies can do, instead of downing ourselves for where we fall short. You can see that one here.
And Part 3 was about our words (what comes out of our mouth and what we voice on social media) and how they have have the power to build up those around us, or tear ourselves (and others) down. You can see that one here.
Like I told ya, today is about comparing ourselves to others. Just don’t do it you guys. Nah, it’s not that easy. I catch myself doing this from time to time, BUT I know I’ve come a long way too, so I would love to share some practical things I’ve learned/am learning.
Comparison gets you nowhere. I would know. It’s a sucky feeling wanting to be like someone else. You lose track of the good in you – the good that other people may be missing out on too if you’re too busy focused on someone else. It distracts you from your goals, and it can make you miserable and ungrateful.
Because all we see is what is actually visible. But there’s a lot going on behind the scenes that we don’t even know about, or may not want any part of. We’ve all been through different life experiences that have shaped us to who we are today. Genetics can be a touchy subject, but those little guys can play a part in who we are and what our bodies can do. And last, but not least, it’s easy to want to look like someone else, or be able to do what someone else can do, BUT are we willing to take the time, put in the work, and have the discipline to make it happen?
True story. Carrie Underwood is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. And I used to want my legs to look like Carrie’s legs. Like it was legit this picture of her legs that I wanted mine to look like.
I mean…freaking beautiful right?! Anyway, this may be a tangent, BUT we had a goal board at work and everything about 3 years ago I think, and there was legit this pic of Carrie under my name. It was supposed to be kinda funny, I guess, but wishing for this didn’t get me anywhere. But once I quit focusing on Carrie, stopped eating QT corndogs (hello), figured out a way of eating that works for me and my goals, and started squatting and lifting heavy 🙂 my legs changed a little. And while they don’t look like Carrie’s, I’ve been able to somewhat grow into some sort of confidence about my legs – thunder thighs and deformed calf and all.
But back to real life, and not Carrie Underwood.
Comparison still happens. Chances are you prob struggle with it more days than not too.
So, what do we do about it?
- First of all, don’t believe everything you see on social media. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc are great. SM can be used for good. It’s THE way we connect and network, it’s great for inspiring people, and it helps us find answers to all of life’s questions (not really, but some of them). But it’s not real life. Many times, it is a highlight reel if you will, and it’s easy to get caught up in it. You can also see some pretty messed up stuff on social media. I’m not saying you have to stay away from it and delete your instagram. I’m not. BUT just be aware. Don’t doubt yourself because of something you see on social media. Just don’t do it. Also, unfollowing someone is always an option. It’s pretty freeing actually.
- And what about when we compare ourselves to those around us – at our jobs, in our families, in the gym? And we even find ourselves taking our eyes off of ourselves, and directing them to that person? And we even find ourselves wanting them to maybe not succeed so much? This sucks. But we can fight it by trying (even when it’s hard) to be genuinely happy for them – for that person we compare ourselves to. Unfortunately, sometimes this means “fake it til ya make it.” Don’t hear me wrong. I’m not saying for you to stay that way and continually be fake. BUT sometimes, we have to make the choice to act a certain way, simply because we know it’s the right thing to do (even though our mind, heart, and feelings don’t want us to – and that’s ok…humans can get like that). BUT I’ve learned that sometimes, if you can find it in you to celebrate others, you will eventually genuinely be supportive/happy/not jealous. And that’s a great place of confidence to be in. If you’re like “ALISON WUT ARE YOU SAYING RIGHT NOW?!?!?”, just hear me out and try it. That girl at the gym that started CrossFit the same time you did, BUT she’s already mastered kipping pullups, and you’re still trying to figure out how to kip in the first place (my story). And her clean and jerk looks like an athlete, while your’s looks like an awkward giraffe (my story)….celebrate her successes. Cheer for her. Compliment her. Even if you have to make yourself do it at first. I promise, if you try this, you’ll start to like the way your mind works, because that’s a great place to be, and that habit will turn into a way of life (gratitude).
- And finally, and most importantly in my opinion, the best way to fight off comparison is to be so invested in yourself – your goals, your strengths, and how you can get better – that you don’t have time to worry about anyone else. 🙂
I know that all 3 of those points above are tougher said than done. But if you sometimes have a hard time with comparison (like I have/still do) just try it…and see what it creates inside of ya. Because comparison is the worst, but loving yourself and taking steps to better yourself is always a good idea.
That’s a wrap on the whole body image and confidence thing. I know all 4 of these posts all somewhat played off of each other, but thanks for letting me go into detail in each one separately. Remember to be the best version of yourself – not someone else. And you can do this by setting goals and establishing healthy habits TODAY. Focus on what your body can do, and be proud of that. Remember to speak life and positivity into the situations you are faced with. And last, but not least, remember to focus on your goals, gains, development, and strengths instead of everyone around you. And you’ll watch yourself get better in the process.
Have a great week!!!!!!