First of all….Happy Monday (or Tuesday, by the time you’re reading this)! I tried to post a little late because no little blog post can compare to the great things people have been posting today to honor our American heroes. I hope you and your loved ones had a Happy Memorial Day – full of no work, celebrating freedom, giving thanks, and honoring the brave men and women who gave their lives to make this country what it is today. 

Second of all….We had a pretty big turnout for MURPH this year at CFEC! Both on Saturday with like 125 ish maybe, and today as well, with another large group of additional people tackling it (maybe 35?) I dunno. I’m not good at counting. The point is, people showed up, showed out, and exceeded their expectations. MURPH is a great way to not only honor Lieutenant Michael Murphy “MURPH”, but to also honor all of the other heroes who have died serving our country. And as always, a bond is formed when you get to suffer alongside other like minded people.

Third of all… I love the pic at the very top of the page (some girls rocking Born Primitive after Murph on Saturday) for a lot of reasons… but for some reason it keeps cropping people on the end out. I’m no good at technology, so sorry. I didn’t mean to crop y’all out. I just don’t know what I’m doing most of the time on here, and Jerry has too many other things to worry about, like meniscuses, for me to bother him. 

So, we’ve been talking a little about confidence and self image, and all that fun stuff over the past couple of weeks on here. I said I wanted to talk about 4 focus shifts in regards to that over the next several weeks. Two weeks ago, I talked about doing the best you can with what you’ve been given – just trying to be your best self, and being proud of that. You can find that here.  Last week, I talked about being proud of what your body CAN do, as opposed to focusing on where you don’t hold up to the standards you put on yourself about what your body should look like. You can find that here. 

Today I want to talk about words – mostly in regards to what actually comes out of our mouths, and a little about what we are saying on social media as well.

Chances are, you can probably remember a time or two that you were hurt by someone else’s words. I know I’ve been guilty of saying dumb things; and hurtful things at that – not only about myself, but about other people as well (not even talking about behind their back – but to their face). 

Words are powerful. If you read the bible, you’ve probably read the book of James – because it’s just pretty practical, short, and easy to understand. So, you’ve prob read James 3 one time or many times. There you can get a very detailed explanation about the power of words – and how our words can affect us for good or bad. “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.” – v. 5. 

SO, what does this have to do with confidence and the way we see ourselves and each other? Bear with me, because it has a lot to do with it, actually. 

The good news here is, our words have the power to build each other up AND bring life to ourselves. 

We have opportunities each and every day to speak positivity to other people – positive vibez if you will. We have opportunities to speak about ourselves in a positive manner as well – not in a “whoa look at me” kind of way. But instead, we can “own” being the best version of ourselves. If you’re making good choices about your health, and you start to look at your body for it’s strengths, confidence should come from that – and when you have an opportunity to voice it, you can. Once again, not in a showy kind of way, but more in a “I feel pretty good about myself” kind of way.

But the bad news is, our words also have the ability to tear us and others up. 

Have you ever been in a conversation with a group of girls (or guys I guess) and one girl starts talking about what she hates about herself or her body, and then before you know it, everyone is bashing themselves, focusing on NEGATIVITY. Meanwhile, let’s just throw an example out there. Let’s say in this circle, Girl #1 is bashing her mostly flat stomach because no matter how hard she tries, she just has this dumb little roll at the bottom of her stomach . However, Girl #2 has always struggled with her weight, appearance, and more specifically, her lack of 6 pack. Girl#2 thinks, “Dang, well if Girl #1 thinks her stomach is terrible, then WUTTTT does she think about my stomach? Mine is way worse.” So Girl #1 is fueling some negativity, looks dumb in the process, and Girl #2 feels horrible about herself.

I’ve been the girl on both sides of that. Many times. Like even recently.

Or a group of women are eating breakfast, and they start talking about what they don’t like about themselves. Meanwhile, their younger daughters are sitting right beside them, listening to every word they say. They don’t need to hear that BS. 

Because no one gets better from that. 

I’m not saying that we all need to be fake, dumb, and not be realistic. BUT, just know people are listening. Words are powerful. Because whether they are good or bad, positive or negative, you start to believe them. 

And when it comes to what we say to others, if you have something nice to say to someone, say it. 

Don’t be fake, and don’t just say something just to be that girl. BUT, for example, if you like someone’s let’s say…IDK…shorts, tell them. If someone has been working their butt off in the gym, and they look like they have little muscles starting to show, tell them. If someone has been trying their best to change their eating habits for the better, and they look like they lost some inches, tell them! For the love, don’t hold back out of jealousy, pride, or laziness. Your words may make their day and encourage them to keep changing their life for the good. 

Cool? Cool.

And social media…. What we put out there on instagram, facebook, and twitter matters too. Because usually more people than we think –  or originally intended to see it – are going to see it. Fortunately AND unfortunately (at the same time), social media gives us a platform. What we do with that platform is up to us. I’m talking to the girl who may have 100 instgram “followers” or 100 facebook friends, as well as the girl with 50,000. No matter how many friends or “followers” you may have, you can use social media as a platform for good in how you build others up, as well as yourself. And confidence comes from that. I’ve seen girls (including myself, unfortunately) bash themselves on social media, and other girls chime in talking about their flaws as well. No one wins in that. 

You don’t have to pretend your life is PERFECT RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS on social media (barf) to be uplifting, positive, and life breathing. But nothing good comes from pointing out all of your (or someone else’s) imperfections. Use social media for good.

Thanks for listening. This was actually really hard to write to get my point accross: 1. It’s a daily struggle of mine on a few different levels 2. I feel like I’m not making sense, and you’re prob like WUUTTTT??

 But I am far from perfect in any of this, and I’m mostly speaking from personal experiences. Sorry to all of my friends over the years that have listened to me tear myself down. Next week, I’ll finish it out with how we can grow in confidence by not comparing ourselves to others. Thanks, as always, again, for reading my blog. 

Have a great week!!